FAIL: First Attempt In Learning

This month’s mantra “FAIL: First Attempt In Learning” felt the most important for me this year. For a recovering perfectionist, emphasis on the word recovering as in not all there yet, the fear of failing can be debilitating or, worse, the big flashing DO NOT ATTEMPT sign. It has taken me years to understand failing, or what I may view as failing, can be a gift, even if you feel the gut punch in the moment. I say all of this even though writing is about failing 99% of the time you are working. If I wrote only for accolades, sanity should prevail and I wouldn’t write not one word, ever. However, obviously I write not for accolades since my life is not rife with any such recognition. What compels me to write is the sense of discovery and mystery that awaits me with each empty page. As someone who writes one word at a time with no real idea of what is to come, it is the process that brings me back time and time again even though the possibility of failure is quite high. 

Now, if only I could apply that same resolve and acceptance of allowing myself to fail in every other area of my life, to be able to fail and think of it as a first attempt in learning some life lesson that I clearly needs reminding. All I can say is that I try every day to not allow my perfectionism to prohibit me from trying things that I will not be able to do perfectly. As this year comes to an end, and for me, I take another turn around the sun, I will keep this mantra close, so that this new year is about taking risks regardless of the possibility of failure, knowing that failing doesn’t have to mean failing…that there is something to be gleaned in the end.