“We give ‘thanks’ without thought, but to receive ‘thanks’ fully requires a truly open heart and belief you deserve it.”

This month’s mantra was “We give ‘thanks’ without thought, but to receive ‘thanks’ fully requires a truly open heart and belief you deserve it.” The idea of giving and receiving thanks is appropriate since we celebrate a holiday to do just that. While this mantra may seem simple and prosaic, if you truly consider what it means to give and to receive anything, you realize how complicated this idea can be for some of us.

For me, giving thanks is something I do frequently in my life since I know how much I have in my life and how much I should be thankful for. However, to receive thanks is an act that requires more work for me since I am always embarrassed by anyone expressing their thanks for anything I do. I’ve thought about the why and to this day I find myself circling this question around and around without any resolution that makes any sense to me or to anyone else. Even if I feel as if I’m in a colony of one on this matter, I have come to assume there are many of us who experience the same discomfort when someone expresses thanks for anything we may have done or given.

It’s taken the wisdom of 54 years, lots of therapy, and the hard work of self-reflection to realize my discomfort about receiving ‘thank you’ is no different from the understanding that true self love is needed to know how to love another, true compassion starts first with oneself, and forgiveness of anyone has to begin with forgiveness with ourselves. Each of these ideas is like any water that gathers and circles, eventually ending up flowing into one drain. Each time new water gathers, it must still go through the same drain in order to find its next destination. Each of these ideas (thankfulness for self, self-love, self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, self-compassion) will funnel its way through the same drain of understanding our own worth, first and foremost.

Hopefully, as we gather together with family and friends after the past two years of forced separation, there is no doubt gratitude and expression of thanks will be a universal theme. Many glasses will be raised and clinked to celebrate this idea of thanks and gratitude. Amid all of the expression of thanks for others, try not to neglect yourself. Give thanks for all that you are, all that you have endured and survived, and all that you hope to realize, understanding this is not narcissism or self-absorption. It is the beginning of purity in the thanks you express for something or someone else.

So, take a quiet moment, take a breath, use this mantra as a prompt, and then give thanks for yourself, knowing that you are a work in progress.