Sometimes an Ending Is a Way To Create Space for the New

So much of life is about beginnings and endings. As one gets older there may not be as many beginnings as there are endings. While one associates beginnings with more optimism, I have found endings, while they may be bittersweet, can also be more hopeful than one might have guessed. Having found refuge in reading and my own writing, I love endings that sometimes leave you with a question or an opportunity for you to imagine beyond the last punctuation mark. 

In the last two years, I have been creating my own endings, all of them for my own good. Beginnings and endings can be exhilarating, but they can also bring up your fears about outcomes, the what will happen if… It’s usually fear that makes us to hold on long after you should. All of my good-byes have been made with a confidence that letting go will, can, create the opening for the new, but also another opportunity to make changes.

Recently I gave my novel a final polish focused on language. Blithely I assumed it would take very little time. From page one I found myself in a manic OCD episode where I pondered every word and I was rewriting sentence by sentence. While some of the work was warranted there was an aspect that was irrational, driven by my reluctance of saying good-bye to the novel and saying good-bye to these characters. Like a relationship, you grow to love and care for the characters you’ve created, so that the end is more complicated than “phew, well, that’s done”.

As a rule before I let a finished novel go, I need to have an idea for my next. I suppose like all writers, I’m terrified this recent novel will be my last. As the finish line became visible for this upcoming book, the more I could hear, picture, and imagine the sketchiest outline for my next project. While it was bittersweet to let “Washed Ashore” go, I knew this good-bye was the only way to create the space for something new.